What Abercrombie & Fitch Should Be Teaching Us About America

There’s been a bit of a fabricated buzz in the news about Abercrombie & Fitch that has been going on for a while, and I thought I’d chime in, because, hey, if there is anything I am an expert on it is hip (is that word cool again? – Sorry, still cannot bring myself to use the word “sick” because frankly, I am too old to use that word) fashion for teens, young adults, college kids, older people trying to look younger, etc.

First off, let me say that the biggest and only role Abercrombie has played in my life is the raised eyebrow I gave to how close and friendly the dudes in their ads and those huge pictures at the entrance to their stores always seemed and how hard I laughed when Saturday Night Live finally made fun of them for those ads and pictures. I have never stepped foot in one of their stores (frankly, they are too loud and smelly), would never invest in the company (unless it was in a fund, of course), and honestly would never want to do work for them, but I am here today to do something that you might not have thought I would do…defend them…defend their right as Americans and an American business to sell whatever they want, market to whoever they want, not sell whatever they want, not market to whoever they want, and to be as biased and condescending as they want to be.

Get to 315 pounds and then go out and try to find clothes, worse yet, clothes at a reasonable, non-full-retail price. It is not easy in the least bit! Now that I am back down to about 260, it’s still not that easy, but trust me, it’s getting easier as I get smaller. But, where does it say that I have a right to find what I want in my size, and it is up to society, the government, activists, and whiners to force businesses out there to manufacture and sell the clothes that I want in my size? I believe it does not say that anywhere, nor should it.

We have a wonderful free-market system that allows you, the consumer, to buy what you want, and the businesses that you buy from to sell what they want as long as it meets certain safety standards, and I personally think that is a great system. If Abercrombie doesn’t sell clothes in my size, then hey, they don’t get my money. If Abercrombie wants to come out and say they don’t want fat or unattractive skinny people in their stores, then they have a right to say it, just as you have a right as a fatty or unattractive skinny person, or any person for that matter, to not spend money in their stores if you don’t like what they are saying. You also have a right, like I am exercising here, to open your mouth and get the word out about what you think of it so others can get on board and be aware of how a company like Abercrombie actually thinks and the values that the company represents.

Does Abercrombie have a right to sell only sizes “God, you look like a skeleton, please eat something” on up through “Holy crap, you’re a size 10 and the size of a house so you should never eat again”? Yes, they do. Does Abercrombie have a right to say that they only want certain types of people in their stores? Here in America, I honestly think they do, and should have that right. Do they have a right to sell shirts that say, “Blondes are adored, brunettes are ignored” or “Do I make you look fat?” They sure do, and they should. Do I have a right as fat and someone who prefers brunettes to never shop there, and ask other people to never shop there? I sure do, just like I still have a right to tell everyone in the world to never buy anything from Jennifer Convertibles because they hosed me on some tables I bought one time.

Do I have a right to loop Abercrombie in together with a guy that is selling t-shirts that say, “Hitler is Great!”? I sure do. If you’re concerned enough that you want to stand outside an Abercrombie store and hand people walking in a copy of a news story or transcript from the CEO’s interview in which he said, “A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely,” should you be able to do so? Absolutely, you should be able to – just remember to bring a filter mask for that horrible cologne-y smell and some earplugs if you don’t like club music! Does their CEO have a right to say what he said in that interview and steer the business in that direction? Here in America, he does, and he should.

Now, I know where you are going, loyal reader…You are about to quote Helen Lovejoy and say, “Think of the children! Won't somebody please think of the children?!” I think this Abercrombie story and the company’s stance is, in fact, a great lesson for your children. It is a lesson in the rights of individual liberties, diversity, economics, morality and the free market system.

We should be using this story to teach children that when you grow up, life is not necessarily going to be fair. Not everyone wins, not everyone gets a trophy, and not everyone gets to wear #1 on their jersey – only one guy on the team gets that number. It is a lesson that some people are skinny, some people are fat, some people are tall, some people are short, some people are considered to be gorgeous and some people are considered to be far-from-gorgeous, but that all of these judgments can either affect their lives, or not affect their lives.

It is a great lesson that some people are kind and considerate to everyone, and other people are frankly, just self-centered asses. It is a lesson in being responsible for your own life and not forcing people to live your way, or feeling that you have to be responsible for and control the lives of others. It is a lesson in the fact that we as consumers have the power to use our dollars as we see fit, and we as Americans have the right to free speech, no matter how hate-filled or stupid, or benevolent and intelligent the things we might say turn out to be. But most of all, it is a lesson in the ideas that America was founded upon, and the rights that we as Americans are assured by the greatest combination of liberty, democracy and capitalism that the world has ever seen.

So, shop at Abercrombie if you’re small enough to fit into their clothes and don’t mind their philosophy and values. You won’t get any flak from me for doing so. Hey, more power to you. But, when you’re wearing one of their shirts and the uglies, the fatties, the non-trendies, the un-cool moms, the un-cool dads, the old-folks, and the like, are snickering at you, don’t get mad at them. They have just as much of a right to protest against Abercrombie as you do to shop there.

A Perfect Waste Of A Damned Good Shark

I know that most of you, especially the ones who live in Southern California, may have already heard about the recent harvesting of an 11-foot shortfin mako shark that weighed 1,300 pounds from the ocean off Huntington Beach by a group of fishermen from Texas, but I wanted to use this occasion to once again get up on that proverbial soapbox that this wonderful invention called the Internet has given us. Thank you, Al Gore.

As some of you may know, I spent a period of time as an amateur marine biologist, taking courses, working at aquariums, and heading out on research vessels from time to time. Some of you may also recall the story I love to tell about the time I got to see a 17-foot great white shark that was caught by some fishermen off San Pedro while I was working at the Cabrillo Aquarium, where I helped care for a number of much smaller and less sinister sharks. To this day, I still donate money to some of our Southern California aquariums and oceanic causes I believe in.

That being said, quite honestly, when I read this story, it really bothered me. Let me explain. While you won’t catch me passing up on the wonderful meat products that nature has to offer us humans on very many occasions, it’s not like we’re running out of cows, chickens and pigs any time soon, but things like whales and sharks are a different story. While some populations are rebounding, others are still in decline and under threat of extinction, so killing them just for fun might not be a great idea. Wow, now I sound like the Greenpeace people.

Don’t get me wrong, I at times think about, perhaps even struggle with, the fact that my chicken sandwich, cheeseburger, and the bacon I put on them or eat as a side dish, used to be a living, breathing creature, but I handle it. It is much easier when you never have to go out and meet the animal that you’re eating or actually see it in any way, shape, or form that is close to being alive because of grocery stores and restaurants, and living the life of readily-available food here in the grand ol’ US of A, isn’t it?

But where I do start to draw my own personal line is when it comes to hunting, fishing and things of those sorts. Now, before you take away my Conservative card, again, let me explain. Mountain men up in Alaska hunting so they can eat? While I wish we’d figure out a way to get them some pre-packaged food so they didn’t have to kill their next meal, all right, I can live with that. Killing a wolverine because it’s hungry and trying to get at the food you’re storing for the winter? I have a harder time with that. It’s not the wolverine’s fault you have to live in the mountains in the middle of nowhere. Native people killing some whales every year for food and tradition? I kind of have a problem with that in this day and age, but OK, I can live with that. Killing a big bear, elk, whale, shark or other animal for the quote-un-quote fun, sport, or thrill of it? Yeah, I have a problem with that. Hunting just to hunt, killing just to kill? Yeah, that, I believe crosses the line, especially when it is an animal whose numbers in the wild are just not what they used to be.

Japan killing whales? Completely pointless, and a waste. People out in the woods or on the ocean just out killing? Completely pointless, and a waste. These people killing this shark while out here on vacation? Completely pointless, and a waste. Though these fishermen did donate the dead shark to since, I just do not believe there is much science could learn today about this shark they don't already know, or could have learned by capturing then releasing it.

It all boils down to one thing. Some people just enjoy killing things. Some people step on spiders. Some people pick them up with a napkin and put them outside. Some people will go their entire life without killing a bear, elk, whale or shark, and some will not. It is the nature of the human problem. Some people will go their entire life without killing another person, and some will not. There’s billions of humans. But each one of us is an individual, right? Spend some time with an animal, any animal, and tell me they are not an individual with their own traits and behaviors.

I’ll let you stew on that for a bit. Either way, this particular shark is now dead and on its way to be hacked up for science so that some humans on vacation could have a thrill and have a story to tell, and I personally think that is just sad, completely unnecessary, and a perfect waste of a damned good shark that quite frankly, the world and its inhabitants needed more alive and swimming in the ocean than dead on a lab table.

Leave Me Alone, Greenpeace...

On any given day, you may find me walking across the street from work at the Irvine Spectrum, just out for a stroll, then all of the sudden, there they are…the Greenpeace guys and gals…carefully positioned at a precise bottleneck in the walkway as to maximize their ability to bother passers-by.

“Do you like the ocean?” they ask. “Nope,” I say, shaking my head as I pass by. “You look like you care about the environment,” they say. “Nope,” I say, smiling, but walking fast. “You look like an activist,” another tries. “Yeah, but I am sure you don’t like the causes I support,” I retort, still briskly walking, and of course, always smiling.

My biggest issue here is not necessarily Greenpeace, per se, but, much more the fact that people are at the Spectrum do to one thing…enjoy themselves. Whether it’s a walk, a movie, a meal, or just spending time with people they care about, bottom line, they are there to enjoy themselves. I believe the last thing they want to do is be bothered by money-hungry activists.

My secondary issue is that the root of their presence is to not get an actual heat-of-the-moment donation, but to get you to hand over your precious account information and make a recurring donation. From what I have heard, if you try to offer them $20, they won’t actually take it. No cash, please. What they want is your personal financial information so that you can make a recurring gift, each and every month.

Now, you won’t catch me out on a Sea Shepard boat, though you will catch me rooting for the whales if I am watching Whale Wars. You won’t catch me down at the beach picking up trash any longer, though I am annoyed when I see people littering while we’re down there. You also won’t ever catch me giving money to Greenpeace because every day when I am on my walk and I get to where they are stopping people, even if just for a few seconds, I am quite literally forced to avoid them.

I know there are probably things Greenpeace does that I might not necessarily agree with, and I am sure there are things they do that I would probably support, but I also believe that each of us has a right to donate as we see fit and not be pressured into donating money we do not want to, even by the most well-meaning organizations.

When I see Greenpeace folks at the Spectrum, trying to corral people that are just there to spend a few moments away from whatever stresses they may have in their lives, quite frankly, it bothers me. And once you have bothered me, the last thing you are going to get is my money.