Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Ant and the Grasshopper, Modernized for Today's America

In the original version of this tale that we all know so well, the ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. The moral of the story is to be responsible for yourself!

There is a new version of the story circulating on the Internet that has updated and modernized the tale to better fit today’s America. In this new version, the ant still works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper still thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. But in today’s America, the lazy Grasshopper is not left out in the cold to die. Come winter, he calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others, like himself, are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide a split-screen image of the shivering grasshopper on one side and the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food on the other.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. “How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?” they cry out. Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, “It's Not Easy Being Green.” Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

To quote David Allen Grier, “America, have you lost your damned mind?!"

Monday, December 22, 2008

"How Long Do We Have?" - A Follow Up...

You may recall my article from November 5, “How Long Do We Have?” in which I wrote and cited the following:

“According to Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, the United States of America has already outlived its expiration date. About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, who was studying the rise and fall of democracies wrote:

‘A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years.’”

I would like to add to my article of November 5th, the following additional facts that were pointed out in an email I received, which cited a recent BusinessWeek Magazine article:

"Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning the 2008 Presidential election:

-Number of States won by: Democrats: 20; Republicans: 30
-Square miles of land won by: Democrats: 580,000; Republicans: 2,427,000
-Population of counties won by: Democrats: 127 million; Republicans: 143 million
-Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Democrats: 13.2; Republicans: 2.1"

Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Republicans won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens. Democratic territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in rented or government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare...

Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the ‘complacency and apathy’ phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the ‘governmental dependency’ phase.”

These election results are further proof that not only is our democracy over the hill, we are continuing to accelerate down the other side. I stress again today, as I did on November 5th, that this process is reversible and that we can turn this country back around, but it would be one of the few times in history where a democracy has succeeded in doing so.

Monday, December 15, 2008

No Voter Turnout

Pillsbury Mayor Darrel Brudevold reports that turnout in the city’s primary election is usually fairly high. “I dare say a half-dozen people usually make it to the polls,” he said.

That half-dozen represents about a quarter of the residents in the Barnes County farming community, in southeastern North Dakota. On June 10, 2008, however, no one showed up to vote, not even those on the ballot.

Brudevold ran unopposed for re-election. His wife, Ruth, and Dan Lindseth faced no challengers for their alderman seats. “Everybody has got a job and they’re busy,” Brudevold said. “It just worked out that nobody seemed to go down there to the polls.”

Only about 11 people live in Pillsbury proper, and the remainder of the residents live on farms outside the city. There is no precinct in town, so residents must drive about 12 miles to neighboring Sibley to cast their votes. Brudevold’s wife, Ruth, runs the beauty shop and is the town’s postmaster. She said she was too busy with work to make it to the polls. Brudevold said he intended to vote, but that he had crops to tend.

Barnes County Auditor Ed McGough said those in office can stay there and appoint people, including themselves, to the jobs until the next election. “I presume things will stay the same,” Brudevold said. “We’re just a little village, and when you’re elected to one of those jobs, well, once you get it, you got it.”

The council meets about five times a year, Brudevold said. Members are each paid $48 annually, and a good portion of that goes for doughnuts at the meetings or gas to get there, he said. “Not everybody usually makes it to the meetings, so it really doesn’t get out of hand,” he said. “The only time we really get people to show up is when we want to raise taxes - then everybody shows up.”

Friday, December 5, 2008

They Don't Make Dells Like They Used To

I'm back to blogging after a brief heitus. I won't get too deep into the details that led to a week-long break, but let me just say that they don't make Dells like they used to.

I bought an Inspiron 8200 way back in 2001 and know that it would still be going strong today had I not spilled a bottle of water on the keyboard in September of 2006.

On the other hand, the newer work-horse Inspiron 1300 that I bought in September 2006 to replace my 8200 is already on its way to the green recycling center.

I've converted my everyday "computering" over to the Inspiron 9400 that I bought some three years ago as our home computer, but have used very seldom.

It has a large and beautiful screen, but also has a huge case, and weighs about twice as much as my 1300 did, but I'll make do. We'll see how long the 9400 goes, but we might be switching brands once the 9400 has run its course.

Switching brands is not something I normally do, but like I said, they just don't make Dells like they used to.