None among us wants to ever be seen as uncharitable, but with the overwhelming number of times we are solicited for donations, coupled with the fact that it is very difficult to gauge the trustworthiness of so many charities and individuals out there, each of us can struggle to find a balance between giving and ensuring that our giving goes to a worthy cause.
I, however, have found a solution with which I am quite comfortable, and have chosen to implement this solution for the foreseeable future. While it can still be difficult to say no to unproven outlets for my giving, I know my solution is the best course of action for my peace of mind, and my hard-earned money.
I can often be heard saying, usually under my breath with a sigh, “Everyone wants our money.” When I go shopping for groceries and come out of the store, even at 6:00 AM on a Sunday, there is a person there with a table, a lockbox, and a sign, asking me to make a donation. How often am I paying for something in a store, and the cashier asks me if I would like to make a donation to a cause the store is supporting? A couple months out of the year, every time I buy a movie ticket at the ticket window, I am asked if I’d like to make a donation to the charity the movie theater is supporting at the time. At least twice a week when I go to the mailbox, there is an envelope in there from a charity soliciting a donation through the mail. And obviously, each November and December, these solicitations for donations increase exponentially.
In addition to each of these forms of organized donation solicitation, the number of times I am solicited by individuals for money is also overwhelming. It happens to each of us, I am sure. We are walking into or out of a store, driving into or out of a shopping center, or maybe just driving down the street, and we are asked to part with some of our money by someone who is personally asking for help. Sometimes they ask directly, and other times they are holding a sign. Sometimes they are alone, and sometimes they have their family or a pet with them to pull at our heartstrings.
It can be someone asking if I have some spare change, or someone asking for something specific like money for gas to get somewhere while I am at the gas station. Sometimes the person will disclose a bit of their story, like that they are a veteran, or just lost their job, or as was the case with one guy I encountered in Santa Barbara in the mid-90s, just needed a beer and was out of cash. The people asking vary in age, stature, and are from obviously varying backgrounds. I’ve even encountered some that I know also work part-time at local retail stores and other businesses I frequent.
I know if someone was to see me smile and acknowledge the person that was sitting right outside a store I was walking into, yet not hand them some of my money when they ask for it, they would most likely think me to be uncharitable, and perhaps to that individual, I am being uncharitable.
And while I believe it is not only right, but fulfilling, to gift some of my hard-earned money over the course of each year, the bottom line is, when it comes time to gift my money, I prefer to ensure it goes to what I know will be a worthy cause by gifting it to a member of our extended family, usually one of the kids on their birthday or during the holidays, or when it comes time for back-to-school shopping. I would much rather see that money go into something that puts a smile on one of those little faces than simply hand it to someone or some organization that I know little or nothing about.
But, nonetheless, I still must admit that I feel a little bad when I deny my money to someone who has made the effort to ask for it, but at the same time, I also feel that by simply handing that person the money which I have earned through my hard work, I am aiding in whatever situation landed them in that spot in the first place. It’s all very “teach a man to fish” in my eyes.
It’s especially challenging for me to say no when the person claims to be a veteran because I truly feel that if our government should take care of anyone by confiscating part of my earnings, it should be our veterans. Sadly, however, I have been burned before and simply cannot take a person’s word at face value. I’ve donated in the past to organizations that I knew without a doubt provided care for veterans, but I’ve also been burned in the past by organizations that spend far too much of the donations they receive on administrative costs. Ultimately, in the end, this led me to the decision to restrict all of my giving to people I know personally.
I find a great deal of comfort and peace of mind in knowing that the money I gift in this manner is going to enrich the life of someone that I care deeply for and truly appreciates the gesture. With all of the questionable charities and individuals out there, I find this direct gifting to not only satisfy my desire to do my part, to give back, to share the wealth as they say, but I know it also fills the recipient of my gift with the same joy I feel when I see them enjoying the fruits of my hard work and dedication.
Photo by Maxlkt via Pixabay
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