So, I’m flipping channels the other night and come across a little TV show called “Are You Hot?”. Now, maybe I don’t see a yellow-tinted-glasses-wearing Lorenzo Llamas or a badly-aging Rachael Hunter judging the looks and sex appeal of the common idiot masses as entertainment, but apparently there are millions out there who do.
Please note that when I talk about America, it’s usually, “us,” but when it comes to reality television and the dramas we all just have to watch, folks, there’s usually me and everybody else. I’ve never watched a single episode of The Sopranos. Do I totally love real-life mobster stories? You bet. Do I totally love an intriguing mystery/action novel? You bet. Do I enjoy being the only one in the room that hasn’t seen a single episode of Survivor, Fear Factor, or Who Wants To Marry Some Dumbass Who Wants To Marry Someone On Live TV? See the pattern? You bet!
There was a time when I enjoyed going to a little Italian Restaurant/Irish Bar called BirraPoretti’s at South Coast Plaza. The law aside, I started going there when I was 15 and spent countless hours upon hours enjoying their wonderful Italian food, Guinness on tap, and conversation with the well-dressed, properly-mannered clientele that made up the crowd there for many-a-year. I actually wrote some of my best stuff at one of the tables in the back corner of the bar there.
Then, about four years ago, after decades of a prosperous business model, some dumbass decided to move the tables out of the corners and put big screen TVs in their place. I can call on over twenty witnesses that will tell you, when they put those TVs in, William said, “I give them five years, tops, then they’ll be out of business.” TVs led to the dress code, the dress code led to football jerseys and a slip in food quality, which led to the menu changing, which led to no where. Guess whose doors are closed forever? Thanks, TV! You ruined Birra’s for me!
Now, just when you thought reali-shitty TV could not get any worse, Fox is proud to bring you, “Married By America.” On this one, single folks who haven’t been able to find their significant other are going to be paired up in matrimony by their fellow idiots...sorry, I mean peers. So, these morons are going to let “America” pick their soul mate and then they are going to get married before even meeting each other while “America” watches.
No matter what we’re arguing about and no matter what position you are in during the argument, there seems to be two “Americas.” There’s a 98% and a 2% that used to be a 97% and a 3%. There’s a something-% and a something-% when it comes to every aspect of America. So, while there’s 98% who enjoy reality TV, there’s the 2% of us who do not. So, what’s wrong with those of us who think MTV should show some god-damned music videos once in a while and force those f-ing Real World kids to get lives and jobs? What’s wrong with those of us who aren’t shocked and amazed that some construction worker is experiencing guilt over lying to a group of gold-diggers who are after his fictitious money? Nothing, really, it’s just that we’ve made the choice to experience life ourselves, instead of relishing in other people’s triumphs and defeats (if you can even all them that) while we sit in front of an appliance.
There is so much wonder going on in my romantic life that I don’t need to worry about who J-Lo is screwing this month, even though whenever I watch a 24-hour news channel, I have to turn off the last 15 minutes of every hour because they want to tell me. There are so many wonderful and intriguing people around me that I’ve never had to watch “Friends.” There are too many wonderful things out there in the world to be learned and enjoyed and there is so much to be done in the short time we own this wonderful gift of life. Am I the only one whose life is so full that I don’t have time, nor care enough, to know who’s getting the rose and who’s getting booted of the island, or fjord, or whatever the hell it is this season?
All right, All right, now, I’m not just bashing reali-shitty TV for no reason here...I have a message. See, like I said, there is in America, always two “Americas,” and there is no exception here. How is it that I am able to recite the gist of these shows without every having watched a single one? Between advertising, the buzz, and the media (Fox News Channel is still owned by the same “Joe Millionaire” Fox, people), they’re bombarding the 98%. You don’t want to be the only one at the water cooler tomorrow who didn’t watch, do you?!
So, watch up, 98%, because that still leaves 2% of us that are going to look back and relish in our accomplishments. We’re going to smile, knowing our kids can’t tell you who won American Idol this year, but could tell you the socio-economic reasons Saudi Arabia backed the Taliban (both sets of information are coming from the same appliance, people). One group of kids will settle into couch-potato-ism and another set of kids will one day lead America. 2% is going to hand a generation’s worth of growth, industry, and prosperity over to our kids, knowing that thanks to things like reali-shitty TV, our kids will have even less competition than we did. 98% is going to leave their kids Yoga DVDs by actual Real World cast members and a generation full of Darvas, Richard Hatches, people who will put their heads in a box full of scorpions if the price is right, and sports fanatics who can’t turn the game off long enough to sing “Happy Birthday” to their wife or kids. And yes, I’ve even seen that. Grown men actually reading the closed captions on a game while they sang, one eye on their kid and one eye on the game!
Monday, February 24, 2003
Monday, February 3, 2003
The Lesson Of Columbia
The first time I saw the space shuttle Columbia, I was six years old, sitting on the floor of my grandmother’s den, watching the very first launch of a space shuttle into space in 1981. The very last time I saw Columbia, I was lying on the floor of my living room, talking on the phone with my brother who was not even born until over four years after Columbia made her maiden voyage into space.
On the morning of January 28, 1986, I was on a whale watching field trip with my sixth grade class and I missed the launch of the Challenger. I was actually sitting on the beach in Newport, eating lunch when I heard what had happened that morning. I had gone to sleep just a couple of hours before we lost Columbia on Saturday.
I pride myself on my patriotism and being appreciative of the gifts I have been given by this nation, but I am afraid that I, too, was guilty of complacency when it came to our space program.
One of the first things I bring up whenever talk turns to 9/11 is my shock...not my shock at what happened, but my shock that our entire nation had its head so far in the sand that no one saw it coming.
I began to talk about an attack on New York even when I was in high school in 1990, and I definitely was talking about it in 1998 when I made the comparison of our state of the nation in 1998 to our state of the nation in 1941.
In 1981, I took great pride in the success of Columbia and in 1986, I grieved with the rest of our nation at the loss of the Challenger crew. Throughout my life, I have enjoyed reading about the space program, watching the launches and live interviews with the crews from space. I also still marvel at the progress of the International Space Station.
I am currently compiling pieces for decorating my bedroom which I am calling the “America” room, but even as I was putting together pieces reflecting the Civil War, World War II, our Cold War culture, 9/11, and the spirit of old New York, the thought never crossed my mind about including our space program.
I am forced to place myself in a category of Americans who had taken the dangers of our space program far too lightly. Saturday, I mourned with the rest of the nation at the loss of the Columbia crew, as well as the symbolism of the loss of the first space shuttle to venture into orbit.
If you watch Star Trek: The Motion Picture, there is a grouping of artwork on the recreation deck of the ship that shows the ships that bore the name Enterprise. One of them is the space shuttle Enterprise, the only of one the six shuttles never to actually fly in space.
It was a novelty in 1979 to show the space shuttle Enterprise in the movie, but as we sit here in 2003, this is now just one of the many small things in life that will remind us of our space shuttle tragedies for years to come.
Whenever I saw a space shuttle, I almost immediately remembered the Challenger. Now, I have two tragedies to remember. Science fiction attempts to teach us where we are going in the future, and also, what we need to do to get there. Remember back to 1979...who could have known then that by 2003, two of the six space shuttles would be gone, and who could have known that we would be stuck in a quandary on February 1, 2003, about how to get our long-term space explorers home from an International Space Station?
On top of it, who would have known in 1979 that in 2003, one of our options would be to rely on the help of our Russian friends? There is in all of this, a lesson to be learned. We lost Challenger in 1986, but we went back up. We lost Columbia in 2003, and we will go back up. We tamed a wild continent called America, even though it took 200 years. We will tame the final frontier, no matter how long it takes.
I am sorry that somewhere between 1986 and 2003, I took for granted the bravery and sacrifice of each person that straps on a space suit and then straps themselves to a controlled explosion to get into space. These people, just as much as any soldier on the battlefield, have helped make America what it is today through their bravery. These are the people who would climb into Discovery, Atlantis, or Endeavor today, despite everything, to go and do their job, whether it be research, defense, or bringing stranded astronauts home.
These are the people that died in a capsule fire, trying to get us to the moon...these are the people that spent the last seconds of their lives, some in 1986, and some in 2003, aboard a space shuttle. Such determination can be summed up in one small phrase...“We are Americans.” I have learned my lesson...I will not forget again...
On the morning of January 28, 1986, I was on a whale watching field trip with my sixth grade class and I missed the launch of the Challenger. I was actually sitting on the beach in Newport, eating lunch when I heard what had happened that morning. I had gone to sleep just a couple of hours before we lost Columbia on Saturday.
I pride myself on my patriotism and being appreciative of the gifts I have been given by this nation, but I am afraid that I, too, was guilty of complacency when it came to our space program.
One of the first things I bring up whenever talk turns to 9/11 is my shock...not my shock at what happened, but my shock that our entire nation had its head so far in the sand that no one saw it coming.
I began to talk about an attack on New York even when I was in high school in 1990, and I definitely was talking about it in 1998 when I made the comparison of our state of the nation in 1998 to our state of the nation in 1941.
In 1981, I took great pride in the success of Columbia and in 1986, I grieved with the rest of our nation at the loss of the Challenger crew. Throughout my life, I have enjoyed reading about the space program, watching the launches and live interviews with the crews from space. I also still marvel at the progress of the International Space Station.
I am currently compiling pieces for decorating my bedroom which I am calling the “America” room, but even as I was putting together pieces reflecting the Civil War, World War II, our Cold War culture, 9/11, and the spirit of old New York, the thought never crossed my mind about including our space program.
I am forced to place myself in a category of Americans who had taken the dangers of our space program far too lightly. Saturday, I mourned with the rest of the nation at the loss of the Columbia crew, as well as the symbolism of the loss of the first space shuttle to venture into orbit.
If you watch Star Trek: The Motion Picture, there is a grouping of artwork on the recreation deck of the ship that shows the ships that bore the name Enterprise. One of them is the space shuttle Enterprise, the only of one the six shuttles never to actually fly in space.
It was a novelty in 1979 to show the space shuttle Enterprise in the movie, but as we sit here in 2003, this is now just one of the many small things in life that will remind us of our space shuttle tragedies for years to come.
Whenever I saw a space shuttle, I almost immediately remembered the Challenger. Now, I have two tragedies to remember. Science fiction attempts to teach us where we are going in the future, and also, what we need to do to get there. Remember back to 1979...who could have known then that by 2003, two of the six space shuttles would be gone, and who could have known that we would be stuck in a quandary on February 1, 2003, about how to get our long-term space explorers home from an International Space Station?
On top of it, who would have known in 1979 that in 2003, one of our options would be to rely on the help of our Russian friends? There is in all of this, a lesson to be learned. We lost Challenger in 1986, but we went back up. We lost Columbia in 2003, and we will go back up. We tamed a wild continent called America, even though it took 200 years. We will tame the final frontier, no matter how long it takes.
I am sorry that somewhere between 1986 and 2003, I took for granted the bravery and sacrifice of each person that straps on a space suit and then straps themselves to a controlled explosion to get into space. These people, just as much as any soldier on the battlefield, have helped make America what it is today through their bravery. These are the people who would climb into Discovery, Atlantis, or Endeavor today, despite everything, to go and do their job, whether it be research, defense, or bringing stranded astronauts home.
These are the people that died in a capsule fire, trying to get us to the moon...these are the people that spent the last seconds of their lives, some in 1986, and some in 2003, aboard a space shuttle. Such determination can be summed up in one small phrase...“We are Americans.” I have learned my lesson...I will not forget again...
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