Thursday, August 23, 2007

“Send In The Squirrels!"

“No, I had not heard about this, but it does not surprise me, foreign countries are always meddling in Iran,” said Hassan Mohmmadi, an Iranian fastfood vendor.

This was Mohmmadi’s response when he was told that the Islamic Republic News Agency was reporting that 14 squirrels had been captured by Iranian police near the Iranian border because they were found to have been equipped with eavesdropping devices.

Has the West finally run so far down on our list of options in dealing with a potential threat from the Iranian government that we have deployed our highly-skilled, agile, and possibly deadly squirrel special agents?

Do you think they won’t fall for that type of propaganda on the streets of Tehran? When asked where he thought the squirrels had come from, Hassan Mohmmadi didn’t miss a beat in replying, “I bet they were British squirrels, they are the most cunning.”

Maybe the reports are not that far off base. We used pigeons to carry intelligence out of Nazi-occupied France during World War II. We currently have chickens deployed in Kuwait to give us an early warning of chemical attacks. And, of course, we are using well-trained dolphins to help us locate underwater mines.

Don’t tell me that you cannot picture the scene in the melodramatic Tom Clancy knock-off movie where the CIA Director pounds his fist on his desk and exclaims, “Send in the squirrels!"

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