The U.S. Social Security Administration has fantastic news! Straight from the insert that should have arrived with your annual statement (wonder what it costs to print and mail all of those instead of posting them online), the Social Security Administration is happy to report that by the time those of us in our 30s go to retire, we have the prospect of getting up to 78% of the benefits that we are supposed to be getting! Isn't that fantastic news?!
That means that for every $1,000 that we are supposed to get, in essence, for every $1,000 that people on Social Security are getting now, we are going to possibly get up to $780! So, when we go to retire, we just need to come up with the other $220 somewhere to make up for the $220 that was stolen from us and given to today's retirees!
Given these revelations, how about we be allowed to keep $220 of our $1,000 to invest for ourselves? Go ahead and ask the Social Security Administration that, and watch them just smile and laugh at you, crazy little taxpayer. You can't take care of yourself without big government! Why, that's just crazy. If they let you keep your $220, they'd have to cut benefits to people on Social Security today, and that just wouldn't be fair at all to them.
The burden of benefits being cut is reserved for those of you retiring after 2041, silly goose. The Social Security Administration is just going to hold their breath, close their eyes, and hope that there is some miracle between now and 2041 that will magically occur so that we can get our full benefits. Great plan, folks!
I have a fantastic idea! Why don't we put the idiots in government in charge of all of the banks and large industrial manufacturers in the land to ensure that nothing goes wrong with our pseudo-capitalist system. Oops - am I too late to stop that? Or even better, let's take our very health and well-being and let them tax us even further so they can provide us with a universal healthcare plan (I'm not making that up - there are bills in the congress right now that are going to tax you on the health insurance your employer provides to pay for health insurance for those who aren't working - a tax on families making under $250,000 a year - breaking a certain promise from a certain someone who just happens to be the leader of the free world right now). We're going to have to sit back, watch, and see what passes and what gets vetoed.
In fact, with Taxington, D.C. doing so well with managing our retirement fund, why not let them handle every aspect of our lives?
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